First dates. Again.

I didn’t think I would be going on more first dates…but here I am. Going on first dates. I guess it’s weird because I keep on comparing my first dates to my first date with 21. My first date with 21 was just…I don’t want to say perfect, but it was good. We had a lot to talk about, we laughed a lot and at the end, we kissed. It just seemed so easy and simple and there was that moment that it all clicked. And the butterflies. And the ants in my pants. And the feeling like it was all going to be good.

Ew.

So last week I had not one, but two first dates. One went well…the other? Not so much.

On Thursday night, I met up with this guy that lives locally and we went to this bar that always has a lot of wacky beers on tap. This guy (let’s call him Gilmore, shall we?) met me down at the bar. We were sitting outside and chatting for a while. He talks like me. he acts like me. But he also talks and acts like an ex boyfriend of mine that I do not like. Of course, that’s not any fault of Gilmore’s, but in my head, I was screaming. Whenever he would say something, I would think of how my ex would say it and I would cringe a little bit. But like I said – not Gilmore’s fault. We had a really nice night. We talked and laughed and exchanged stories and I clearly won him over because I’m awesome.

At the end of the night, he almost lost points for not walking me to my car, but he pulled it together at the last moment. We hugged when he left and when I texted him to thank him for the night out, he responded right away. And it’s been emails all week long. I enjoy his emails. He’s funny and says the same ridiculous things that I do. I actually look forward to them, which is saying a lot, since most emails I don’t care about (sorry girls. I do love you. But I know you. So I know what you’ll say). We’ve decided that we will go out again. I do like him..but I’m not sure in what capacity. Right now I know that I enjoy saying snarky things to him because I know that he will say snarky things back. Honestly, I don’t know where this guy came from, but he clearly gets me.

Then on Friday night, I had a date with a guy we were calling Samwise. He lives in Queens, works in Manhattan and I liked him. I did. He was kind of like Gilmore, but not so much like my exboyfriend. Samwise was also smart and funny and just seemed…normal. So I met him in the city on Friday night for a drink. I took a train into Manhattan, planning on meeting up with him and then spending the night at Karen’s afterwards. So we had our drinks. And we chatted. Our conversation was totally more serious than the one that I had with Gilmore. He had mentioned at the beginning that he was going to meet some out of town friends for dinner later, but that wouldn’t be until 9 or so. But 9 actually turned into 7:30. So our date was cut short. He hailed me a cab and told me we would talk later. He hugged me, kissed my cheek and I was on my way. I really enjoyed our date…but I knew that something wasn’t right. A few hours later, I texted him to thank him for our..whatever there and I didn’t hear back from him until almost 1. Okay, whatevs. Then I didn’t hear from him again until Sunday. We were texting back and forth, and he was acting like himself.

A few hours later, I got an email from him saying that he wasn’t feeling it between us (where have I heard that before?!) but he wished me well. That sucks, because I liked him. BUT BUT BUT. At least he was man enough to say something. Granted, it was through email, but he did sack up enough to not just ignore me. He did a good and a bad. Samwise can go trip and fall into Mordor for all I care now.

I think part of me just thought that I would go out with someone, there would be magic unicorn teacup piggy feelings and BAM. New boyfriend. It’s not that simple. It shouldn’t ever be that simple. And yet…it kind of was. Was.

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