Relationship Diabetes

In my brain, I’ve gone back and forth about whether or not to write this post.  Because I feel like I just did this.  I feel like I was just into a guy that was so into me…until he wasn’t.  So I don’t know if posting this is right, or if I’ll regret it or if this is a good idea.

But sometimes you just have to go with your gut.  And my gut says “do this.”  So.  I am.

I’ve been dating Gilmore for a while now.  We first went out in April and have been seeing each other ever since and now it’s on facebook (which makes it official.  And that was all him, I could have cared less) and it’s been..just a ridiculous two months or whatever it’s been.

I guess I figured after everything with 21 was said and done, I wouldn’t be in this position again.  I wouldn’t be with some guy that thinks that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened (which is true, I basically am).  And yet, I’m in this relationship with some guy that will willingly and readily tell me that I’m beautiful.  That he adores me.  That he really enjoys every single second that we spend together.  I feel the same way.  I can’t believe I’m here again, with some guy that I could see things happening with.  A guy I could see my future with.  I didn’t think I would be playing this game for a while, let alone now.  But when things happen – they happen.

I don’t know what makes Gilmore so different.  I can’t just say “well, he does like me” because that’s how relationships are formed.  Someone likes you enough to want to be seen in public with you.  But it’s more than that.  I’m comfortable with him.  He tells me things that I sometimes just need to hear.  He lets me know that the little things that I do for him (making him a ridiculous birthday hat, making birthday cupcakes, texting him to tell him that he’s awesome) are the things that make him like me more.  He understands why the little things are so important.  But he does big things.  He gets me tickets to the thing I’ve been dying to see just because he knew that it would thrill me.  He offers to make me breakfast when I wake up at his house.  He’s sweet.  He’s so sweet.  I tell him he gives me relationship diabetes.

When he says what he feels, I know he means it with his entire self.  He’s not lying, he’s not trying to manipulate me and he’s most certainly not saying it for an ego boost.  Gilmore is being honest with me and he’s honest with himself.  He’s an adult.  That’s really..something.

I haven’t written much about Gilmore because I get worried about the fallout.  I fear the end of things, because then I’m back to where I started.  I’m back to saying “well, this relationship is over” and I’m back to nursing my bruised ego.  It doesn’t feel like that’s going to be happening here.

Being in this relationship with him has turned me into someone that loves the idea of love.  I saw a man getting on the train this weekend.  He had a bouquet of flowers.  I wanted to go and hug him because I knew he was bringing them to some fine lady and it would make her day.  Hearing my friend on the phone with her boyfriend – the way her voice changes when she realizes he’s calling, the little nonsense things she says to him, the moment that they both tell each other that they love each other?  That all gives me a reason to smile.  People in love are my drug right now.  Watching people that truly and actually care about each other interact?  Amazing.  Then I realize that when I get a text message from Gilmore telling me that hey, it’s Thursday, he’s thinking about me and hopes that I have a good idea, my face lights up.  Knowing that he’s just as excited to see me as I am to see him?  It’s disgusting and gross at times to be one of those people – but deep down, I really like it.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Peter
    Jun 24, 2011 @ 14:56:46

    It’s really the best kind of obnoxious, right?


    • Sarah
      Jun 24, 2011 @ 14:59:31

      I read your post about your week with your lady and I was kind of inspired. Then I sent it one of my friends that’s also suffering from Relationship Diabetes and we both went “AWWWWWWWWWWW” and it was gross.

      So thank you for that post. Wonderful, as usual


  2. Shaba
    Jun 26, 2011 @ 04:28:44

    Ok, so, I actually didn’t read this blog post but in my defense I’m a little drunk and it is my birthday.
    I just wanted to say that I love your blog name.
    So, hi!
    I love your blog name.

    Happy Sunday!


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