Oh hello, I’m still alive

I haven’t blogged in, well, forever, because I feel like I have nothing to say.  And that’s not true at all.  It’s more like I have nothing to bitch about, so what do I have to write about?

Because in my mind, the people that read my blog only want to hear me complain about things.  NO THIS IS NOT CORRECT.

Things have been…crazy.  Chaotic.  It was a long, weird summer.  After my grandma was diagnosed with lymphoma and then had the stroke, things because very tense.  She was in the hospital, then in the ICU, then in a rehab place, then in a nursing home and now, FINALLY, she’s home.  But she’s not the same as she was before, as would be expected.  So it’s hard.  sometimes she’s like the person she was – she will make funny faces and wink at us and laugh at our jokes.  And sometimes, it’s like she’s not there at all.  She’s making such great progress though, and there’s no more lymphoma, so those are things to be really thrilled about.  My grandma is a tough lady, so I had no doubts she would make it through all of this.

And after that, my summer, my fall has been amazing.  Honestly.  I’ve been dating the most wonderful, amazing, perfect man.  Perfect for me, at least.  I didn’t think it would work with us in the beginning – he seemed too nice, I’m too harsh.  But it did work.  Mostly because once I got to know him, I realized that I didn’t want to destroy his life.  In fact, I want him to stay in my life as long as he can.

There’s something so different about things between us.  I fell for him so hard and so fast that it’s difficult to believe we haven’t even been together for 6 months yet.  But I know that things between us are far from over.  He brings out the best in me and helps me see the best in myself.  He’s kind and loving and thinks the world of me.  And I think the world of him.  I didn’t think I could feel this way about someone.  And yet, I smile all the time when I talk about him.  My pulse still races when I know I’m going to see him.  Every time he looks at me in a certain way, I feel more loved than I ever have before.  There are things about our relationship that go so much deeper than any other relationship before.

For his birthday, I surprised him at his house with dinner and a birthday cake.  The look on his face when he came through the door and realized that I was there was the best look anyone has ever given me.  That made it all worth it.  I realized that I wanted to surprise him for his birthday because I knew how happy it would make him.  He still talks about it, how great it was, how he had the most amazing birthday ever.

All I can think is that I’m so incredibly lucky to have met him, to have him in my life.  I’m so happy that I found him.  That he found me.  That we made our way to each other.  My face hurts from smiling all the time.  I am the most disgusting relationship girl that has ever existed.

And my god, do I love it.

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