Believin’

Everyone has moments in their lives that when you hear a certain song, you’re brought back to a place.  Most of the time, this is pretty solid for me.  I hear Piano Man, I think of my friends from college.  I hear the Beatles and I think of my senior year of college.  I hear something by Rusted Root and suddenly I’m painting in art class again.

All those songs have one moment.  They have one flash in my mind of why I like them.

As I was driving home from Cape Cod on Tuesday night (HI I GOT TOO MUCH SUN AND MY SKIN HURTS), I was scanning all of the radio stations.  Mostly because I could and I was bored and I needed something to do on my 4 hour drive.  I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I knew I would find something.

And Don’t Stop Believin’ came on.  Steve Perry was belting it out with so much heart and soul.  So I belted it out too.  I screamed it at the top of my lungs.  I rocked out hardcore on I-195 because I could.

The more I thought about that song, the more I realized that it doesn’t have just ONE moment in my life.  It has many moments.  I don’t know if that’s due to how popular it is, or just what sort of radio stations I listen to, but there’s so many things that came flying back to me at that moment:

– Driving home late one night with my friends and my brother after seeing Red Eye.  We heard this song, all rolled down our windows and sang it like that was what we were put on the earth to do.
– My cousin Kit’s wedding, where I danced so much with my grandma that she couldn’t walk the next day.
– Being in Vermont with 21.  We had just said goodbye to Tessa and Aaron and were walking back to the couch.  The song came on.  21 went over to the radio, cranked it up as high as it could go and we sang it to each other and danced around.  When the song was over, we went back to our lives
– Singing it out at Mike and Casey’s wedding, while dancing around with Gilmore and feeling so alive
– Glee. Because of course.
– Being on a cruise with Karen and Pam (although I don’t think we sung this song, it just reminds me of that moment)

It’s weird to think that just one song brings up so much in my life. But it’s THAT song. The song that has carried me through years of my life. It’s too bad that it has to be a bad 80s song, but at least it has a new message – Don’t Stop Believin’

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HI BABY

On Monday, my cousin gave birth to the cutest little baby I’ve ever seen, Alec Nicholas.  I’m not just saying that because he’s related to me.  I’m saying that because OMG CUTE BABY.

It’s kind of weird to have a baby in the family.  It’s been so long since anyone on either side had a baby.  My youngest cousin is now 8 years old.  When he was born, I was kind of distracted by other things (specifically my grandpa dying of cancer) so I really didn’t care much about him.  Also I was 19 and could have cared less about babies.

Now I’m 26 and a lot of people I know are having babies.  It’s that time in people’s lives.  I do not want this for myself – but I’m fine with it for others.  So now that the Nugget (as I call him) has hit the scene, there’s at least a baby for me to adore and then hand back to his parents.

I guess it’s just weird too because I grew up with my cousin.  We’ve always been close.  It’s weird to think that the girl that I used to play dress up with now has a little person to take care of.   It means that she’s really an adult, as opposed to being half of one before.  She’s got a family of her own now.  And that’s…strange.

But babies?  With their tiny shoes and tiny onesies and OMG CHILDREN’S BOOKS?  Fabulous.  Babies wearing belts on pants, even though they don’t walk?  I LOVE IT.  I go from being angry and cynical to being a pile of love whenever I see a baby.  I realized why the other day.  Babies have no idea of the bad in the universe.  Everything to them is shiny happy good times.  They don’t know that people are mean and hateful and awful to each other.  They eat, sleep and poop.  That’s all they do.  They love it.  They love it without even knowing there’s so much more to the world.

Welcome to the universe, Alec Nicholas.  My little Nugget.  You’re going to be shown the best of the best.  And we’re all so glad that you’re here.

Sad Panda no more!

So maybe you might have noticed that I have not been a little ray of sunshine lately.  In fact, I’ve been downright hateful.  Not in an amusing, “Oh Sarah you adorable little scamp” way.  More in an “I will gut you like a fish way”.

Which isn’t funny when you say it out loud to other people.  So don’t do that.

Not that I have.  Yet.

But it’s Friday.  And the sun is out (again!)  and it’s almost the weekend.  So to make myself smile a little more, I started to think about things that are making me happy at the moment:

  • It’s Friday.  At almost 5 PM
  • My brother coming home from college for an entire week
  • the turkey sandwich I had at lunch
  • Getting the terrible conference call out of the way today.  I’m DONE with it now
  • The fact that spring isn’t that far off
  • Getting my hair cut and highlighted tomorrow.  nothing like it!
  • Dog Prom!  With 21 and friends!  And I will feel so pretty
  • New black heels that I will wear to said prom
  • In 8 days, I leave for New Orleans
  • In 10 days, I leave for Mexico
  • SUNSHINE FINALLY OMG
  • Sending out Valentine’s Day cards to some of my favorite people
  • Good workouts with my trainer (even though she’s breaking up with me)
  • This video of me taunting the cat.  And I wonder why he hates me.
  • Matt and Kim, followed by Modest Mouse on my iPod.
  • Wearing my ugg mocs into work, convention be damned!
  • Getting along with some of my coworkers really really well
  • The fact that this week is just about OVER
  • Changing out of my work clothes.  Awesome feeling
  • Knowing that my cranky mood is done for the time being and now everyone will want to be my friend…yayyyy

What’s making you happy in this moment?

Whoops

So remember when I was all “hey, I’m going to stop treading water at work because things have evened out and I’m going to get ahead and HEY I had that discussion with my manager and now know what I think I want to do?”

Remember?

Well, yesterday they informed us that starting Monday, half of our team is going to be on a new team that they just made up.  And the half of our team that is left does not include my manager or my manager’s manager.  Hell, I don’t even know if we HAVE a manager. 

But basically, my responsibilities – THE ONES I JUST GOT A HANDLE ON – are changing.  AGAIN.  AGAIN FOR THE 5TH TIME SINCE JULY.

So I’m a little annoyed.  and now this changes everything.  Like, the position that I think I wanted to work for is no longer in my grasp because they sort of put someone else in that position by creating this new team.  So it’s been taken away from me when I didn’t even really try. 

Now I’m back to the drawing board and back to trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing.

Reverb Day 25 – Photo

Prompt: Photo – a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

There aren’t a lot of photos from me this year – or so it seems.

This photo was taken at my friends wedding.  She had a photo booth and wanted all the bridesmaids to get silly and creative with it. I know I’ve mentioned this before.  So here we all are, showing what too much metal for just one bridal party is.

I like this picture because it’s fun and silly.  We’re all having so much fun.  That’s what I want to remember from this year – the fun.  The good times, which certainly outweighed the bad times this year.

This picture shows me as I am – always the instigator, always ready for fun and always the troublemaker.  And I’m okay with that.

Reverb Day 12 – Body movin’

Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Can I just say that I think this is a really..uh..dumb question? Like honestly. How do you even answer this? I got this question via email last night on my blackberry a little after midnight. I was standing in 21’s kitchen and I was making a weird confused face after reading the email. He was like “what is wrong with you?”

What’s wrong is this question.

Anyway. I don’t know if there’s really a good answer for this question. I did spend many afternoons this summer working with my personal trainer. She’s one of my most favorite people in the world. She knows how to push me and what to say to make me try harder.

For about 2 months, I was seeing her 3-4 times a week. She was having me do things that I never thought I’d be able to do. I could feel myself getting stronger, having more endurance and feeling more confident about myself. I can’t say the last time that I felt that good.

When Lisa was having me running sprints and doing jump jacks and planks and I could do it. WITHOUT BEING TOO WINDED AND DYING? That was an amazing feeling. Because that meant that everything I had been doing had paid off.

This summer flew by before I even knew it. But the way that my body developed and changed is something that I won’t soon forget.

And now? I’ve got ab muscles. They might be beneath a layer of protective karate fat, but they are THERE.

Reverb Day 9 – A post I can really get behind

Today’s Reverb question is: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

I think the best party I went to this year was actually the reception after my friend Cashelle’s wedding. Cashelle got married in Atlanta in September. I was one of her bridesmaids, along with our friend Tessa and one of Cashelle’s friends, Elizabeth.

The wedding was held at the Atlanta Contemporary Art gallery. All of the colors at Cashelle’s wedding were bright and vibrant. We had really unusual flowers. Instead of having individual tables for everyone to eat dinner, there was one big long banquet table with the bridal party in the middle.

Cashelle had a photo booth inside the gallery that we had way too much fun playing with. We all helped her find props to put out – mustaches on sticks, crazy hats, fairy wings, gloves, chalkboards to write on and wacky sunglasses. The entire bridal party got into it and we took quite a few pictures there. The girls rocked it so much better than the boys did.

It was a gorgeous night down in Atlanta. It was perfectly warm outside. We were dancing around and singing. The playlist was filled with songs about love and songs from Alfred. The bartender was passing us the most fabulous margaritas ever. I had two of my very best friends from Alfred there with me. I witnessed two people that absolutely adore and respect each other get married in front of their close family and friends. I laughed so hard that I cried. I cried just because I could. And this wedding was the place that a guy told me “Don’t cry, Muffin”.

I couldn’t have asked for a more fabulous time. I had great friends, great food, fabulous hair, a pretty dress (please ignore how FAT I look in it, ugh that kills me, spanx you suck) and a wonderful experience.

Weddings are always hard to gauge. Sometimes they seem like they will be fun and they turn out terrible. Sometimes they start terrible and end wonderfully. This wedding? It was wonderful the whole way through.

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