If this was a football game, it would be time for a pep-talk right now.

Here’s the thing about 2012 – it has not been the best to me.  really.  I’ve not had a good 3 months.

It started out when I had some sort of mini flu when I was in Atlanta for New Years.  So instead of going out and watching fireworks with friends, I was at my friend’s apartment.  On an air mattress.  I had shaking chills, a fever, and generally felt like death.  HAPPY NEW YEAR.

At that point, I should have known that there was no good way for this to go.  But I was optimistic.  Because you know, one bad day does not equal a lifetime of bad days.  Again – I was wrong.  After my illness in Atlanta, I had pink eye in both eyes.  And then strep throat.  I was in sad shape.

But I recovered!  As I knew I would.  And after that I was hitting the gym a lot and working out and lifting weights…and then my back started bothering me.  Like really bothering me.  I figured it was something with my sciatic nerve and didn’t think much else of it.  I was taking anti-inflammatory drugs and then I stopped working out so hard.  Then my back felt better and I went back to working out full tilt.

Until my back started hurting more.  And worse.  Two weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night because I was having a back spasm.  I made an appointment to see my doctor right away.  She did x-rays, which showed nothing.  She sent me to the orthopedist.  And off I went.  He ordered an MRI.  And then my foot went numb.  I cannot feel part of my foot.  If I wasn’t alarmed because my back was screaming, I was alarmed after that.

I’ve come to find out that I have a severely herniated disc in my back.  And one of the nerves is being pinched, so that’s why I have no feeling in my foot.  I’m glad that I know what’s wrong with me…but at the same time, it’s kind of like, really?  Really right now?

I was putting money in my FSA, thinking that I would get a new pair of glasses this year.  But after paying for the x-rays and the co-pays and the MRIs, I will be lucky if I have any extra money left.  It’s frustrating because at this point, It seems like there is nothing I can do.  I do have an appointment to see a physical therapist and that should help.  But I’m just sad now.

There’s not much I can do.  I would go for a walk, but with my numb foot, I just kind of limp along.  I can’t really lift anything – or shouldn’t really lift anything.  I only just recently was able to fall asleep without the help of the muscle relaxers.  I’m broken.  That’s what it comes down to.

At the same time, I’m lucky that I can afford to go to the doctors.  I’m glad that I pushed an issue that was bothering me and it wasn’t just something stupid.  And most importantly, while this is a serious thing, it’s not that serious.  I’m not going to die.  I’m not going to have to have my legs chopped off. I  just have to take it easy and let myself heal (or at least that’s what I’m hoping to do)


Reasons for doing things

As I may have mentioned a few times, I’m in another wedding.  That’s the second wedding that I’m in this year and the fourth wedding that I will be attending.

Are you jealous yet?  because you should be.

And I’ve debated on writing this post, but since what has happened as of late, I couldn’t NOT write it.  And yes, I run the risk of having The Bride read it, but I know she won’t (this the noise the universe makes when I shoot myself in the foot).

I am in this wedding with two of my very good friends – Karen and Pam.  And The Bride asked Pam to be her maid of honor and Karen and I to be bridesmaids.  We all agreed, because…well, I think that’s what you are supposed to do.  Then the first bomb dropped – the wedding is on a Thursday.  I’m going to repeat that – THE WEDDING IS ON A THURSDAY.  And this isn’t on a Thursday in a tropical location nice destination wedding.  Uh no.  This is on a Thursday in the next town over.  Thursday at 3 PM.  Now, all of us work.  Pam is a teacher and a coach, I work a few towns over and Karen works in New York.  So this is already a problem.  Mostly because we all have to take a day off of work to attend this…debacle.  This nonsense occasion.  And before you say “hey, I bet it’s really cheap to have a wedding on a Thursday!” please know that she is having the wedding AND the reception at the church.  So.  I don’t think cost is a factor.  Did I mention it’s a dry wedding?  DID I MENTION SHE’S MARRYING A 20 YEAR OLD?  DID I MENTION THESE THINGS?

Sorry – got a little heated there.  Back to my point

But you know what?  We all took the day off from work.  We all bought the ugly bridesmaid dress.  We all chipped in and bought her a nice down comforter for her bridal shower.  We put the whole shower together and it was NICE.

Then things got worse.  The Bride attended the shower and was just tearing through presents.  She wasn’t saying who gave her the present, she wasn’t saying what the present was.  So I was prompting her and that was going nowhere.  Furthermore, she was opening gifts and then saying that she didn’t really want whatever gift it was, her finance just registered for it.  FAILURE ALL AROUND.  When The Bride left, she didn’t thank anyone.  She didn’t thank her guests, the bridesmaids for throwing the shower OR the family that allowed us to have the shower in their house.

She then drops the next bomb on us.  Yes, there will be a rehearsal and such.  What time is this event?  Oh, 4:30 on Wednesday?  That’s totally a reasonable time.  Oh wait, you’re at work at that time?  OH IMAGINE THAT.  Her telling us that totally pushed all of us over the edge.  Because now it’s gone beyond just one day off of work.  It’s more than us just taking a vacation day for a stupid reason.  Now she wants us to take another day just because she has decided 4:30 is an appropriate time for this.

My level of tolerance towards her has dropped to zero.  Because now she’s just being selfish.  She works part time, so she expects that we’ll all be able to just drop our lives to attend this hillbilly wedding.  But the more I think about it, my annoyance goes beyond the vacation days and the ugly dress and the nonsense bullshit.

It boils down to the fact that she’s being so rude to the maid of honor.  To the teacher that needs to take a day off from school to do this.  Because how many useable weekends in September are there?  ALL OF THEM, that’s how many.  She’s being so rude and disrespectful to someone that I consider more of a sister than a friend.  So I told Pam on Friday that I’m in this wedding for her.  I could care less about The Bride.  But I’m doing this because I couldn’t leave her alone to deal with The Bride and all that comes along with it.

So I’m doing this: smiling, posing for pictures, pretending to care, getting all dressed up, buying things I won’t ever wear again, agreeing to stuff I think is horrible and keeping my mouth shut the entire time.

And why?  Because friends stick together.  And when this is done? I’m out.